I've driven a lot of miles over the years, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's this:
You don't dodge deer.
The deer decides whether you're involved in its life story or not.
People always say, "Just watch for deer."
Thanks. I hadn't thought of looking for the 150-pound woodland missile that's about to appear out of nowhere.
I've hit a few over the years, and somehow every one of them had a different strategy.
When I lived in Indiana, I had not one...but TWO different occasions where a deer exploded out of a cornfield. The funny part? They didn't even run in front of me.
Nope.
They ran straight into the SIDE of my vehicle.
I wasn't driving into them.
They basically T-boned themselves.
I still picture them holding a little insurance card saying, "Well...this is going to be awkward."
Then there was my time living in northern Michigan. A deer came flying out of the woods, running at an angle beside the road. I thought, "Perfect! It's going to keep going."
Wrong.
At the very last second, it made a hard left directly in front of my car.
Now, this wasn't some lightweight little sports car. It was a big, heavy car that didn't exactly stop on a dime. By the time my brain said "Brake!" the car was still saying, "We'll get around to that eventually."
The deer won that round.
Then came my favorite one.
I had barely left my house and wasn't even going very fast. A deer decided to run right beside my vehicle like we were training for a marathon together.
For a second I thought, "Hey, this one's got it figured out."
Then, for reasons only a deer could explain, it suddenly decided crossing the road through my right front fender was the best option.
THUMP.
Really?
You had the whole road.
The whole field.
The entire forest.
And you picked the six square feet occupied by my truck.
It left me with a nice dent and probably left the deer telling all its buddies, "You should've seen the look on his face!"
I've come to the conclusion that deer don't understand roads.
They don't understand traffic.
They definitely don't understand timing.
They're basically woodland squirrels on stilts with absolutely no game plan.
So these days, whenever someone says, "Be careful. There are deer around."
I just nod.
Because I'm already watching.
I'm just hoping today's deer has a better decision-making process than the last four.
If you've ever hit a deer—or had one hit you—you know exactly what I'm talking about. Sometimes you're not avoiding wildlife...
You're just an unwilling participant in the annual Deer Driving Championship.
Drive safe out there...and remember, if a deer is standing on the side of the road looking at you, don't assume it's staying there.
It's probably just waiting for the exact moment that makes the least amount of sense.